Dear Career Doctor:

I am a 26-year-old Registered Nurse. I enjoy my job, however, my current dream is to be an at-home-mom, but my stay-at-home-mom dream conflicts with my dream to be a medical doctor. I have often thought that when my kids are in school, I will go to med school. However, I won't want to take much time away from my children by studying while they are at home. I'm very smart and can learn a lot in a short period of time. Our local school has a class at 9 and 3 so that I may study when they are gone.

Are my goals feasible? Will I be taking too much time away from my children?

Heidi Z.

Dear Heidi:

It's great that your local school offers med school prep courses at convenient times, but after that, the life of a medical student, intern and resident is completely incompatible with involved, much less stay-at-home parenting.

I am surprised that you haven't asked any of the physicians you work what med school is like. If you had done that you would have found out the awful truth: the road to becoming a physician requires at least eight years of grueling hours, ones that keep young mothers and fathers from spending quality time with their kids. In fact, medical students, interns and residents hardly find the time to sleep.

Think I'm exaggerating? Medical school requires grueling coursework and class time. Then it gets worse. Interns and residents in New York now "only" have to work eighty hours a week. The Career Doctor thinks these revised hours are still dangerous and inhumane.

I applaud your resolve to spend time with your kids. I think all mothers and fathers should do that -- and most physicians should probably delay having children until their work schedules permit them to have some relaxed parental play and cuddle time with their kids.

As for your career aspirations, forget medical school. Ask your local librarian to help you find information about nurse practitioner or a physician's assistant programs. Those would give you experience like a medical doctor but a life style far more compatible with your parenting goals.

The Career Doctor