Dear Jolie:

The first question is: how supportive will your husband be if you take the job? Will he help keep the home running smoothly? Will he help you or undercut you?

The second question is: will it be a detriment to your marriage if you DON'T take the job? In other words, will you be so resentful of your husband if he thwarts this opportunity that it will hurt the marriage?

While I would never recommend that any person who cares about family be away 80% of the time, there are men and women who travel that much and still have solid marriages and healthy kids. The key is that they devote the 20% of the time they are home to the family. They give up almost all interests and activities except those they can share with their partner and kids when they are home. The other key ingredient is hiring people to take care of the chores, so time at home can be devoted to fun and intimacy. If they have children, they are careful to hire loving caretakers and are not jealous if the kids sometimes seem more attached to the nanny than to them.

It sounds like you really want this job. I hope you will have the opportunity to try it and see if you like it -- and that your husband is the kind of guy who will support your trying it -- as, perhaps, you would support him if he had a similar opportunity. After all, if you take the job and find it's too damaging, you can quit.

The Career Doctor