The Career Doctor™

by Dr. Jacqueline Hornor Plumez

Looking for a first job? Thinking of changing careers? Facing a lay-off? The Career Doctor™ is a Larchmont psychologist specializing in career counseling. If you'd like to ask a question of your own, use the anonymous form below, and she might answer you here. Read more about the Career Doctor here. Contact information is here.

HOW CAN I WIN A FIGHT WITH MY BOSS?
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Dear Career Doctor:

My advice has always been respected in my organization. Then a new manager came in over me and he never seems to listen to what I have to say. In fact, he criticized me for talking too much in meetings and implied that I was acting like a "know it all." I am so angry that I have been blowing up at him in the office. I have spoken to my boss's boss and she hasn't done anything. What should I do?

Gloria

Dear Gloria:

It is very upsetting to lose the respect you once had. But "blowing up" will not help you get it back. In fact, fighting with a boss often gets people fired.

Here's my advice: Go to your boss and tell him that you know that your job is to help him in the way he wants, so if he wants you to only give advice when he asks for it, you will comply. Then think of yourself as a wise Buddha, sitting and listening calmly and pleasantly, but letting people make foolish mistakes if they want to. That apparently is what the boss wants to pay you to do. Speak up rarely, only if you think major mistakes are being made, and then only privately to your boss.

How to maintain a Buddha-like calm? Meditate on the fact that you are being well paid to be quiet, while devoting your energy to finding another position where your advice will be valued.

The Career Doctor

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The Career Doctor™ is Larchmont psychologist and career counselor, Dr. Jacqueline Hornor Plumez.

Her office is at 90 Beechtree Drive in Larchmont, 914-834-1982.