Dear_Sis@the_end_of_my_day.calm©
Two sisters and their friends, share the joys of Larchmont motherhood through E-mail.

by Val Estabrook

Date: 3/17/03
To: Dear Sis Readers
From: Val
Subject: Proof Positive - E-Mail Rules

Think about it…there are many ways to communicate in Larchmont. See rating system below:

1. “SELECTIVE SCREENING” on your answering machine…

• Rating: Reliable though at times problematic.
• Requirements: Message machine set to answer after two rings
• Advantage: By listening to caller’s message you weed out solicitors and PTA phone chain seeking moms to run popular ‘toilet roll toss’ at upcoming Murray spring fair
• Disadvantages: Three fold…
  a. Teenager, expecting a call, picks up phone after one ring.
  b. Teenager, not expecting a call, screams endlessly for you to pick up.
  c. When the recording message is important, (your friend calls having sited small decorative chair left curbside) there’s potential for personal injury. Thinking of time I raced for phone and…after leaping over dog… slid in coffee grounds puked up by said dog thus twisting my ankle and said pride.

2. Famous “DRIVE-BY” through the neighborhood

• Rating: Effective though expensive…
• Requirements: Your car and ability to multi-task
• Advantage: Immediate gratification…so rare these days…is two fold:
  a. It’s simple. Just get in your car…drive by the home of friend who has not been returning your calls
  b. It’s fast. A sideways glance, @ 40 miles an hour, does the trick. If friend’s van is in her driveway…she’s home. Park…run in and have needed conversation.
• Disadvantage: Two fold…
  a. Gasoline expensive right now.
  b. If not immediately successful, several drive-bys may be necessary…not environmentally friendly.

3. Popular “CAR TO CAR CHAT”

• Rating: Precise communication link-up (but can be dangerous)…
• Requirement: You must be stopped in your car, in right lane at any Larchmont light. Friend is stopped in the left lane, parallel to you at the same interminable light.
• Advantage: W/electric windows down, immediate, concise communication w/friend is possible
• Disadvantage: Three fold:
  a. If friend drives a RX300 you may mistake her for one of a thousand similar cars driving around Larchmont. Suddenly find yourself speaking w/someone you’d successfully avoided through aforementioned “SELECTIVE SCREENING” method.
  b. Car to car chats may begin to dominate life. With interminable lights at Chatsworth &Palmer…Chatsworth & Boston Post Rd…Larchmont Ave. & Palmer…Larchmont Ave. & B.P.R. …Weaver & Palmer…Weaver & B.P.R….etc…and given our 7 to 10 errand/carpool runs a day…the potential for excessive car to car chats is a very real possibility.
  c. Car to car chats infuriate other drivers not welcomed into your vehicular conversations. Honking may impede your ability to focus on the subject at hand, but more dramatically, other drivers ramming your rear bumper can be out and out bad for your health.

4. “E-MAILING”

• Rating: Reliable, effective, precise…healthy
• Requirements: Computer, modem, and blessed silence at 1am
• Advantages: Have complete control of the situation…communicate when it suits you…remain physically safe…computer easier to understand than the #%$*!! answering machine…in time of environmental concerns saves on gasoline consumption.
• Disadvantages: None that I’m aware of…but speak to my husband

There you have it, evidence is in. E-mail is best overall means of communication among Moms in Larchmont. Dear Sis receives many e-mails in response to particular columns appearing in the Larchmont Gazette. In the next Dear Sis, look for a sampling of those e-mails received over past 6 months. They reveal wonderful insights to parenting...see you then! XO Val

Val and Kim Illustrations by Larchmont artist Sue Girardi. "Ann" courtesy of Snobhollow.net "Barbara" from : www.acn.net.au/ebusiness/ manual/chapter6.htm

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